What is a safety agreement?

It’s an agreement between you and your partner to protect against HIV.

The most common form of agreement is about whether you are allowed to have sex with other partners outside the relationship.

If you decide that it is possible to have sex outside the relationship, and you both believe yourselves to be HIV-negative, then the second part of the agreement is about the kind of sex that is allowed. That is, will it be no fucking at all (for example, oral sex only)? If fucking is allowed then it needs to be with condoms.

Some men in relationships decide not to use condoms with each other. This type of agreement is not for everyone but it can work well. It can be safe but only if you are sure you are both still HIV negative. Some step-by-step instructions are on the following pages. You can use these steps if you want to make a safe relationship agreement.

Remember also that either of you could still be exposed to other STIs (sexually transmissible infections) when you are having sex with other guys, and this can make passing on or getting HIV more likely. So, you need to both have regular sexual health checks.

A quarter of men in relationships have been with their partner for more than 10 years.

Almost half of men in relationships don't have any agreement about sex with other partners.